Updated Spring/Summer 2021
Part 1: An Introduction
Twenty-five years ago I identified myself as a gay man. Living as a chronic liar and professional thief. But on October 31, 1994 Jesus captured me with His grace and set me free! Today, I’m a new creation in Christ Jesus—my Righteousness—my Life. Praise God!
THE GOOD NEWS
From liar to truth-teller. From thief to legit. From a homosexual predator to faithful and pure. Getting saved changed me forever!
MY FUTURE… MY PRESENT… EVEN MY PAST… all traded for Jesus’ Life living within—Jesus’ crucified, risen, and eternal glory living in me. An inexpressible joy! A salvation garden planted—all of grace, faith in Christ. My sin-dead rebellious spirit transformed—forgiven and made alive. Set free! As real repentance ignited saving faith within the depths of my spirit (Acts 11:18):
my nature to sin was miraculously exchanged for Jesus’ righteousness; to partake in His divine nature (2 Corinthians 5:17, 21; 2 Peter 1:3-4)
my identity of sins was supernaturally exchanged for Jesus’ living out His rightoeus and obedient Life in me—right living (Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27)
my destiny for sinning was powerfully exchanged to 'more than a conqueror'; daily learning to overcome sinning—sin’s hunts, haunts, and habits (Romans 6:1-14; 8:31-39, v37; 1 Peter 1:3-9)
Now that’s the good news! Hallelujah! But why was such a rescue necessary?
THE BAD NEWS
No, homosexuality doesn’t send anyone to hell. Not me. Not you. Not anyone. It took me a long time to understand that God’s GREAT SALVATION isn’t about behavior. It’s not even about our passions. It’s about CONDITION. The condition of one’s heart. And the only eternal damning condition is humanity’s fallen nature, identity, and destiny of sin, sins, and sinning. And my own fallenness, my sin nature could only be exchanged when repentance ignited a Life of saving faith within my heart. Replacing my sin with Jesus’ righteous Life—His nature, His identity, His destiny.
Pastor Paul explains it like this. For our sake He (Father God) made Him (Jesus, Son of God)
to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him (Jesus) we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21, ESV).
Pastor John clarifies. If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness… Whoever has the Son has Life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have Life (1 John 1:9; 5:12). That’s it! Seems simple, doesn’t it? Anyone who rejects Jesus is already destined for eternal death (John 3:18); because they lack the repentance that leads to a Life of saving faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 11:18). Such rejection is the only blasphemy that sends a person to an eternal death in a forever hell (1 John 5:16-17).
Because of this sin condition (i.e. my nature to sin), same sex attractions plagued me for over two decades, and the curiosities and pleasures of this craze kept me from true repentance and saving faith. Keeping me lost and spiritually dead-in-my-sin.
I just wasn’t willing to give up homosexual interests and passions. It was all-consuming! Gay thoughts and feelings riveted my heart, even as a young boy of six. The attractions I held for other boys wouldn’t stop hunting and haunting. Capturing me with destructive habits, I knew were wrong. Same sex attractions (SSA) and homosexual behavior pursued me, with an insatiable hunger and an unquenchable lust. I couldn’t stop; couldn’t get enough! …so—
DISHONESTY & DECEIT
Lying became deeply ingrained; always trying to hide my secret—my sexuality. Hiding. Always hiding. Trying to live two separate lives. On the one-hand, trying to live like a good Christian boy. On the other, trying to find safe places to express my sexuality. Until all the lies smothered every thought, choice, and feeling. So much so, that truth seldom crossed my mind, which lead me into a life marred by—
Theft (swindling, cheating, the con), my profession of choice. Convinced—really deceived—the only way to have the money, possessions, and pleasures I wanted was to take it.
What a life! Disordered. Destructive. Damage.
To sum up the bad news, three motivating lies held me captive: 1) boys are more interesting than girls—sexually speaking, of course… 2) if I could spin the web just a little thicker, a little longer—the con just might save me… and 3) I deserved it now, not latter—I deserved to be rich, and have everything I want, when I want it…
Before getting saved, it seemed I could get away with almost anything. If I just kept talking and moving, the consequences of my sins and crimes were haunting but never fully realized. But getting saved removed that bogus safety net. And over the course of almost a decade, God used the courts and our legal system to teach me to tell the truth. Fraudulent crime faded into a distant memory; however, homosexuality was indeed a more difficult giant to defeat. Because the lie—I’m more interested in boys than girls—had seized every thought, choice, and feeling. Until everything and everyone had become sexualized.
My life was in chaos and shambles. I was miserable but didn’t know it. I was sin-dead and dying in my sins. Now that’s… BAD NEWS!
NEXT | Born Gay Or Not | PART 2: GROWING UP HOMOSEXUAL